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| The Nature of Reality - A Socrates Cafe Discussion Topic
I think the nature of reality is our individual perception of it. All of our senses relay messages to certain locales in the brain, which tell us what we are seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting. This data is interpreted and influenced by our experiences, past and present. For instance, in the 70s, when the Beatles were popular, I (along with millions of other parents) did not like their music at all. Over the years, though, I became a Beatles fan because their music is associated with a lot of happy memories of my children during their teens.
How do we know that what we are experiencing is the same as what other people are experiencing. Another example: recently on a trip to Dallas to visit my daughter, I saw a building that is outlined in green neon. However, I insisted that the color was more blue-green, until everyone else insisted that it was as green as a billiard table cover. When I had my eye exam, I asked the doctor if I was color-blind and the answer was no. I have cataracts and they affect my color perception.
I have had the experience, many times, of reading a book that I really liked and I enthusiastically recommended it to family and friends. Later, when I wanted to discuss the book, I would discover that their experience of it was very different from mine.
So, even though my examples are personal, I believe that they are somewhat evidentiary of the idea that the nature of reality is however we perceive it.
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| This post is in answer to Jassamine's questions about my life. It is kind of long, so I apologize in advance.
Where did you grow up?
I grew up in Hannibal, Missouri (Mark Twain's hometown). I have 3 brothers, all 10, 9, and 8 years older than I am. My father was a master plasterer and my mother worked as a milliner before she married my father. However, my father was an alcoholic and my mother died of cancer when I was three and a half years old. Before she died, my mother made arrangements for the three boys to go to the St. Louis Christian Children's Home. She asked my aunt on my father's side to let me stay with her until after Mother's death, then I was to go to the Home also. But my aunt and uncle decided they wanted to keep me and since my father wouldn't sign adoption papers, they went to court and were made my guardians.
My uncle worked in St. Louis for the Otis Elevator Co. When I first went to live with them, they lived on a farm south of Hannibal, where he farmed on weekends and my aunt kept the farm going during the week. They did everything - cultivated the land (with horses), raised cattle, milked and sold milk and cream, raised pigs and chickens, grew a huge garden.
Were you close with your siblings?
One of my brothers would not stay at the Home in St. Louis and at an early age (11 or 12) learned to hitch-hike back to Hannibal. Over the years till he was 17, he lived with various aunts and uncles and our grandparents. I was pretty close to him, since he was around a lot. My other two brothers were allowed to come home for Christmas vacations and during the summer, and my oldest brother sort of took over being my guardian angel. My father, most of the time, lived with his parents, and worked between periods of drunkeness. He quit drinking when he was in his early 40s and remarried, and while I respected him for doing that, I was never close to him.
What kind of a religious life or spiritual life did you have as a child? What kind do you have now?
My father's family was Catholic, but I did not join the church until I was 18. My aunt and uncle that raised me were not religious at all; in fact, I think my uncle was probably agnostic or atheistic and my aunt was "a fallen away Catholic" because she married my uncle out of the church. So, I went to a regular school and never attended catechism classes until I decided to join the church. I attended church with various relatives all during my childhood. Later in life, my aunt renewed her allegiance to the church and probably was an influence in my decision to formally become Catholic. Ironically, I met my husband that same year and got engaged on the day I made my first communion!
Since I was virtually an only child, and because my aunt and uncle had a very stormy marriage, I spent a lot of time walking in the woods near our house, or when I was older, riding horseback a lot. I think I always believed in God; in fact, I think I actually met a "guardian spirit" at one time when I was just about four. The church then didn't put a lot of emphasis on knowing Jesus, so while I was pretty sure about God, I never developed a relationship with Jesus. Now I still believe in God and I still don't have a relationship with Jesus, though I believe he was divinely inspired. I believe in reincarnation, which came about after my husband died, and I try to live by the teachings of Jesus and Buddha. Probably not well, but I try.
What is your favorite story about your mother?
I really don't have a favorite story about my mother, as I never really knew her. Sadly, I was in my forties when I realized I knew next to nothing about her and then it was too late to learn much. I think my aunt feared that I wouldn't love her if I knew anything about my mother and I think she discouraged me from asking about her.
As I stated earlier, my father and I were never close, although he seemed proud of me once he quit drinking. His supposed reason for quitting (he quit cold turkey) was that he went on a binge and missed my 9th grade graduation. However, shortly thereafter he remarried, and his second wife told me much later that she had insisted he quit or she wouldn't even consider marrying him. So, that is my story about my father, for what it is worth.
What is your favorite story about you.
I guess my favorite story about myself is: I loved horses from an early age and, according to my uncle, never ever had any fear of them. He bought me a pony when I was five (I was going to ride it to school), but (and he was an avid horse trader, although not a good one), the pony was not well trained for a small child, so that idea fell through. When I was about 10, I just decided one day to go catch one of our work horses and ride! One of my chores was to catch the horses for my uncle when he was going to use them for farm work, so I knew how to do that. What I didn't know was how to ride without harness or a saddle and I couldn't carry a saddle to the pasture. So, I went and caught the mare that my uncle used to ride, sometimes, and I climbed on with the help of a fencepost, and I rode her up to our house. I was shaking like a leaf, but I managed to stay on. Fortunately, she was a very tame horse (turns out she was a full blood Morgan breed) and when my uncle learned what I had done, he gave her to me and went out and bought another work horse. Storybook, huh!?
What is your favorite color is it the same as when you were a child?
It is hard to know what my favorite color was as a child, but blue comes to mind. Mainly because I had very blue eyes and my aunt would always buy blue dresses and coats for me to "set off my eyes."
What is your favorite childhood book?
I can't remember the name of my favorite childhood book but I do remember it was about a baby calf. I started reading almost before first grade started. I went to a country school where the "little girls" (there were 3 of us in the first grade and I started 3 months before my 6th birthday) sat with the big girls. I learned to follow along when the older girls read aloud, so I can't say just when I actually learned to read, but by the end of the first grade, I was reading 5th grade books. Woohoo.
What kind of books do you read now?
After my husband died, for almost 20 years, I read nothing but non-fiction, mostly spiritual stuff. Then about five or six years ago, I started reading fiction again. I really like mysteries, more than anything else. I guess my favorite books are "Illusions," by Richard Bach; "The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran; all the "Conversations With God" books; most everything by Depak Chopra, a little book, a diary by Emily Dickenson. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Oh, yes, I've also read all the "Harry Potter" books, and, although I haven't read it, I love the "Lord of the Rings" movies. And the Potter movies. I guess I love fantasy but haven't found a lot that I can relate to.
Some artwork I like is the Beatrix Potter drawings and Arthur Rackham prints. There are too many contemporary artists to name, although I love the impressionists - Renoir, Monet, Degas, Van Gogh. Mostly I like representational art.
You caught me with nothing going on and these were good questions. Thanks for being interested.
Annie
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| Socrates Café questions:
1. Who am I?
Superficially, I am a 74 year old woman who has raised a family of seven children, had my husband die at 55 (when I was 50); went to school at a vo-tech and worked there, then had my own business for a few years. I was raised by an aunt and uncle in Missouri, but moved to Oklahoma when I married. The best years were when I was raising my kids and enjoying life with my husband. I am not religious, though I am spiritual (I know that is a cliche, but I don't know any other way to put it). What I am below the surface is a little difficult to discern or discuss.
2. What interests me? I am interested in philosophical questions and psychological insights. As for my daily life, I read, sometimes non-fiction, sometimes mysteries; I garden and/or care for indoor plants. I love being with my family and my friends, and taking care of my animals (three cats, two dogs). I do oil painting as a hobby. I enjoy a certain amount of solitude and I love walking around our local lakes and taking in nature.
3. What do I know? Where have I been? I know a little about a lot of things. I didn't live during the great depression, but I lived with the aftermath of it. I lived through WWII, and all the subsequent wars. I've tried to keep on learning all my life and I am in awe of all the knowledge there is but I doubt that all the information available to us now is going to help us become better people. Information is good, but when there is so much available, people don't need to try to retain any of it and I can't see that situation helping keep our brains in good health. Maybe it will, but I have doubts. And people have to be willing to use the information to make things better all over the world or it is useless.
I have never traveled far from my early home or my current one. There are many places I'd like to see, but I've never wanted to do a "six countries in six days" sort of traveling. I'd like to have traveled to different places and lived there long enough to get to know the people and the customs. Since I haven't been able to do that, I've traveled in my head, by reading and reading and reading.
4. What is the most Important/Dramatic/Horrible/Best/ thing that ever happened to me? The most important, terrible thing was the death of my husband. In a way, it was the best thing that happened to me, as it taught me to take care of myself and become independent. I learned more and understood more after his passing than I ever had before. I guess for drama, I could cite my house burning down two years after my husband's passing. Other than those two events, my life has been good and blessed.
5. What will happen to me? I'll pass on just like every other person on this earth. I expect it to be a good experience and I don't have much fear of finding out. Until then, I'll just keep on keeping on.
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| This may be more of a rant than a philosophical discussion, so be aware. I've recently had a situation in which I've experienced being pitied. Having a friend feel sorry for me. And it has made me very angry, because the situation did not call for sympathy or pity.
However, it made me think about giving, both physical/material things and sympathy and empathy. My mother died when I was very young and an aunt and uncle raised me. They did this of their own free will; no one asked them to. In fact, they had to go apply to the court to be made my guardians as my father wouldn't agree to adoption. They took me to raise toward the end of the Depression, so theirs was an act of love and caring, as my three brothers had to go to an orphanage. My aunt and uncle simply couldn't afford to take on four children. Between the ages of four and eighteen, I was reminded often by them and others of the sacrifice they had made for me. I guess they did sacrifice; raising a child back then probably did make their life more difficult, financially. As I said, though, they did it on their own; I was supposed to join my brothers in the orphanage after my mother died.
After I grew up and married, I had a large family and money was frequently tight. It was tight but we were not poor. We always had plenty to eat, a warm house, and good, warm clothes. Yet people seemed to feel that they needed to share their cast-off clothing with us. In some cases, it was a warm giving and the clothes were extra nice. Many times, though, the clothes were unusable and had to pass them along to the Salvation Army (at that time they often remade clothing for the people they aided).
My point is that I've been the recipient of sympathy and pity off and on my whole life and mostly it was unwarranted. So many times people give because it makes them feel good!
I'm all in favor of communities getting together to help in times of disaster or when a family has had a catastrophe, such as a house burning down or a spouse dying and leaving a family without resources. And I know first hand that helping others makes one feel good. I even feel good when I give a donation to Arbor Day or some other such organization. I just think that when someone feels that another person is needy, whether physically or emotionally, they need to think twice about what that person really needs and the best way to go about giving it to them. And most of all, everyone needs to look at themselves closely to be aware of why they want to give help and what kind of help in that situation. I'm not a great Bible reader, but I like the part where Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, says to give alms in secret, so that God knows what you do, but men don't.
Empathy is different. Empathy is defined as: the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another; or the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: When you feel what another person feels, then you know, somewhat better, at least, how best to help if help is needed.
Just think, folks, before you assume you know what is best for someone and what the real problems are (if any) before you presume to pity them.
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| Socrates Cafe Topic: Why do bad things happen to good people... or to make it even broader... why does evil exist? Where does it come from? What is evil?
Evil is like cold. Cold is the absence of heat; evil is the absence of good.
I think the Bible says, "God makes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust"? Or something to that effect. I don't believe in "the fall" as an actual event, but I do think when man achieved consciousness, s/he also developed a sense of right and wrong. And some people just seem to be attracted to wrongness. I know the social scientists lay a lot of the blame for badness/criminal activity on how a child is raised. Whether the environment around a child is conducive to learning to be good, or to creating wrong thinking/evil. But the opposite thought is that many children who are raised in bad circumstances become good people.
Since I believe in reincarnation, I also believe in karma being at work in our lives. Karma isn't something written in stone; we still have choices we can make about how to behave in any situation. Just because there was a bad influence, either in this life or in a past life, is no reason to become a thief or murderer, nor to become a "good" person. We have to make the choices and we have to keep making choices, day by day.
So, I have no answer, really, to the question, other than for each person to remember that we are all connected and what we do to another we do to ourselves. And for change to happen, it has to happen to us before it can happen to anyone else or to any situation.
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